WHAT IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF A LIFE??

I have arrived at that stage in life where I seem to be attending as many funerals as I do birthday parties.  This is what happens when one lives long enough.  I went to the home-going service of a childhood friend just a couple of weeks ago.  And, the weekend prior to that, I participated in a celebratory birthday dinner of a friend who was turning 98.  Ironically, the bio that was prepared for my friend, who was turning 98, was drafted in a format similar to what an obituary would have looked like.  The bio talked about her life and family in a parallel manner.  The difference being my friend was still alive and able to contribute to her bio.  And, those in attendance were able to relay to the birthday honoree how they felt about her vs. delivering a short speech in the form of a eulogy which she would never hear.

Along that same vein, I have another friend who has decided to write her own obituary.  Apparently, she wants to have a say in what will be said about her, thus putting her own spin on the way people look at her life.  My question to you is:  what is more important...what you say about your life or what other people ultimately say about your life and how you lived?  I am aware that perception is reality, but whose reality really matters?

I am coming to grips with my own mortality because I am accepting of the fact that in all probability I have lived longer than I have left to live.  And, while none of us knows how long we have to live, I am dealing with the legacy I want to leave.

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King talked about the drum major instinct; this basic human instinct for recognition, attention, and distinction.

Regardless of how I think I have treated people or have behaved, it is important to me that I successfully carry out my intent.  When I am gone, I want my daughter to truly say that I was a good mom.  I want my granddaughter to say I was fun.  I would like my husband to believe that I really did love him and tried to be a caring wife.  I want my friends to say that I was a good friend and came through for them when needed.  I want my sisters to have looked up to me as a big sister and say that I tried to provide support and guidance for the entire family.  I want my neighbors to say that I was a good neighbor and tried to keep an eye out for them.

I am an usher at my church and want my fellow worshipers to say that I always welcomed them with a smile and the Spirit of Christ.  I have been active in my community for years.  I pray that I have really made a positive difference.

But, it is fatuitousness to think I will have any of the aforementioned said about me if I am not committed to actually working at all of the above and more.

I have to be available to and supportive of my daughter whenever she needs me.  I have to be ready to push my granddaughter in the swing when she wants to play.  I have to have a soft word and provide a gentle touch for my husband when he needs it.  When my friends call, I have to take the time to listen and offer my sage advice when asked.  When my sisters need me, I have to be the surrogate mom.  My next door neighbor is 93 years old.  I need to follow up on her daily and check on her needs.

True recognition, attention and distinction are a result of service to others.

It really doesn't matter how many degrees one has.  I know some well-educated narcissistic people.

It doesn't matter one's title in life.  I've had a few managers I could have chocked.

As Dr. King said, one only needs a "heart full of grace" and "a soul generated by love".

Dr. King also said, "I just want to leave a committed life behind".

What is the true measure of a life?


Peace